Life by Grace Alone

Families are amazing things. Each family often consists of a group of people whose personalities differ greatly and yet they would be willing to do battle if necessary for each other. I still puzzle over those differences in the 5 of us in my first family.  Even though our lives have gone in different directions, I believe we continue to respect and take pride in each other. We live in a me first world where everyone is prone to seek the fulfillment of their own desires first. The fact that there could be a family like mine is not because of the goodness of man but because of God's grace. In less then a week after leaving my mom's, my husband and I drove to the Outer Banks in North Carolina to spend time with 3 of our 4 children and their families. Although this year we were spread out on three floors, we still had a greater opportunity to spend more relaxed natural time with each other. Thankfully the five grands were able to play together without any major fights. Even at...

Within the space of three weeks I experienced my family past, present and future. My mother whose mind is sharp, is still frail enough at 95 that she doesn't live alone. My sister who has been living with her needed to go home to Vermont. I agreed to stay at Mom's for about a week. My mother still lives in the house my dad had remodeled when I was 11. They had left this home when I was about 3 and my brothers were 7 and 9. When my grandfather died and we no longer needed to stay at the farm, my father began working on their house. This home that originally only held him and his wife then needed to meet the the needs of a family of 7. My 2 brothers were now old enough to aid my father as he oversaw the work on his expanding bungalow. From the time I was 11 until I graduated I lived in the fullfillment of my father's dream.  Years went by and it was my mother's mom that needed her attention. Mother did all that was needed to allow my grandmother to remain in her own hom...

We had known for a long time that the color of our house (mustard with brown shutters) was dated. After residing in our home for 11 years we had no idea how many years before our arrival the previous owners had endured the condiment color through rain, wind, and sun. A few weeks ago Steve had stated with apparent certainty that he was going to paint our house and he pointed to the week on the calendar when it was going to happen. Having heard the estimate from the professionals, and knowing his past experience painting to support our family, his plan seemed like a good idea but still overwhelming. We drove around  the neighborhood taking note of what colors were paired by our neighbors. How do we choose colors that are distinctive but not too jarring a contrast to the other houses? Two visits to our favorite paint store and 4 sample paints later we still were uncertain. After the third visit or was it the fourth we returned home with a brochure with suggested paint combos. In ...

My oldest granddaughter is six years old. Grace is an intelligent, pretty girl. Her vocabulary is extensive enough to serve many adults well. Many days when it's least expected, Grace suddenly cries with gut wrenching sobs from a heart that must be irreparably broken. She finally manages to articulate her agony with words like " I dropped my toy on the floor of the back seat and I can't reach it." or " Henry won't give me the t.v. remote." At other times it may be that she can't find her favorite toy or shoes. When she's lost something she does a quick look without moving anything before she bursts into tears. No matter what the "traumatic" event is they all have one thing in common. No adult relative is asked to come to her aid. Nana and Mommy are just two "helpless bystanders". When one of us tries to sensibly assure her of our ability to help, she never treats our advice as a great a-ha moment. Even after her mother or I ha...

 Henry, my 18 month old grandson thinks control is everything. I have been allowing him to play with my Kindle Fire as long as I hold on to it. Today while we were in a store waiting for his mother, he tried to crawl to the other end of the bench out of my reach. Out of desperation I offered him Kindle control. Henry stopped his exodus, and sent me a "huh" accompanied by a questioning look. When I extended the Kindle to him, he grabbed it, put it between his legs and did a victory dance while still seated. His great delight in his momentary control of technology was brighter than any neon sign. Unfortunately control is not always really control. Henry enjoys pressing whatever he can on any technological device assuming that he will be the recipient of greater control and pleasure. Sometimes only frustration is the result. If he's temporarily in my care frustration is often the result. My knowledge of gizmos is severely limited. If the game disappears and nothing remotel...

We live in a time where it seems like businesses just don't care about their products or the customer who is buying them. Too often we expect only mediocrity at best and so when a product doesn't measure up we say nothing. I have consciously taken a different perspective. For the past twenty years or more I have gained a reputation in my immediate family. I do not hesitate to call companies if there is a problem with a product. Initially my number one  motivation was to make sure a company knew that their product was not meeting the usual standards. I assumed they cared about their reputation and wanted to be sure their product was of reasonably good quality. Many times over the years that assumption has proven true. Twice I received from my favorite grocery store $10 gift certificates after e-mailing them about a problem. My daughter received a nice bag of coffee without charge after I shared with the manager my view of what seemed like a bad procedure for returning damaged ...

This week Steve has been at a meeting in Orlando. I came down with a stomach bug the day he left. After the initial misery of the situation, I did little else but stay in our recliner and watch one cheesy movie after another. Most of them I wouldn't have rated higher than two stars out of four. Today I watched a movie that instead of helping me just pass the time, it also led me to reconsider the value of the people in my life. Mrs. Palfry at the Claremont is set in London. For the good of everyone she decides to live in a less than desirable residential hotel. Most of the residents seem cut off from those they have known before, and Sara Palfry soon realizes that no one outside of the Claremont is seeking her out either. She is comforted by the memory of a loving husband long gone. Her daughter only speaks of her duty owed to her mother but there seems to be little indication of real love. She visits her mother only once and that was to berate her for an incident with Sara...