Life by Grace Alone

Shut out. You thought you were going to play with a friend. Instead of a welcome you get a cold shoulder or worse yet a locked door. The rope hangs down from the tree house but when it's your turn to climb up, the rope is no longer there. Years have passed. Instead of a child trying to fit in, I am an adult who has lost a loved one, my mother-in-law, Elizabeth Doe. Although I may still struggle to fit in at times, I know I'm an integral part of my immediate family as well as my extended family. The day of her viewing had arrived. Her dress is lovely. Her hair properly coiffed would have pleased her as well as her manicured nails. Friends, and family members quietly arrived and went to the casket to pay their respects just like they might have done at any family gathering when she had been able to greet them. They then formed impromptu clusters as they chatted, often sharing memories of Mom, Grandmom, Aunt Libby, and just plain Libby. Three generations of the Doe family gather...

We saw him. Jacob, our third grandchild was less than 24 hours old. He looks so much like his older brother but I'm sure it won't take long before we will see how unique each boy is and how much more each parent will have to learn in order to deal with each stage of growth as well as deal with two different personalities. Parenting has been and always will be an overwhelming challenge. I remember when we first became parents. I read books, and gathered information from my friends. I'm sure if I had been at all internet savvy I would have immersed myself in as much as the net had to offer. I know I looked at others and determined that I would never do with my child what I saw them doing with theirs. I remember shaking my head over parents who allowed their children to watch more than a minimal amount of t.v., or to eat the wrong food excessively or at the wrong time. I thought I had a lot of things figured out. When I became a mom, I quickly concluded that parenting was m...

Although I had been married for almost twenty five years, during the time right before the funeral I felt more like a daughter and sister than a wife and mother. We greeted people I had not thought about for years. So many faces were like signposts of my childhood. Each handshake as well as the glimpse of facial features obscured by wrinkles brought into sharp focus colorful memories. A string of Fourth of July celebrations at this neighbor's farm lit with sparklers and Roman candles. My father's former boss and company picnics on the beach - multicolored bathing suits and the bright blue of the waves. Each one we greeted was a reminder of all those who loved my parents, and would continue to treasure my mom. As the add on speaker Steve spoke for 6 minutes at the funeral. He summed up my father's life with two words. He was friendly and faithful. He usually had an upbeat word for everyone he met. He was known for his good natured kidding with the waitresses at his favorite...

Should I or shouldn't I go? My sister, Patti had gotten the call. It looked like Daddy was not doing very well after two surgeries to repair a broken hip. There was a definite possibility that the end was near but my sister said it could still take another couple of weeks. We now lived in Vermont close to two siblings. Patti and my brother, Ted were going to drive down to Maryland that day.This was the day that Steve and I were going to spend a relaxed afternoon together, a lunch at a nice restaurant and then a walk in a park all in celebration of his birthday. The prospect of a low key celebration for my husband, and also the uncertainly of how soon things would happen with my father led me to delay my departure. We saw my siblings before they took off. I reinforced my brother's provisions for the trip with a box of wheat thins, a small gesture but important to me as they went to do what I was not ready to do. I thought about them a lot after they left. I called Mom. Daddy s...