Rightside Up in an Upsidedown World

How long had it been since Josh was born and clear signs had appeared that perhaps my father's mind was beginning to unravel? We had tried to explain away what was happening until there were no explanations left except Alzheimers. Mother had dealt with him at home including him in as many activities as possible. She had taken away the keys to his truck and so he had to stay closer to home. Filling the bird feeder which had been just one of many things to do, now became a focal point of his day.

All 5 of us children lived far away and those friends that wanted to help could do only so much. How many of those friends marveled at my mother's determination to keep him at home just a little longer? We knew Daddy would never hurt mother as long as he knew who she was. There were now more stories about when he didn't. One night she walked into the bedroom. Daddy greeted her with words something like, " What are you doing here? I'm married and I'm not that kind of man." I laughed when I heard the story but was that really a laughing matter?

Mother had the deadbolt installed on the back door. Except for the morning when Daddy took it out, there had been no problem. All that changed one day when Daddy picked up a chair ,told my mother to stand back, and then broke the window.

Mother found a nursing home that would take Daddy. He was going in just before Thanksgiving. We had plans to take our children to see relatives in New Mexico. It was just a couple of days before we were supposed to leave for our trip. Steve had pulled our new- to- us van into the parking lot of the Christian school our two eldest attended, when a short time later a vehicle careened off the main road onto school property and into our van. Steve was not hurt but we later learned the driver of the car was driving with a suspended license.

Our van had to be repaired and we had no money for a rental car for such a long trip. Everyone at church had plans for that Thursday. Thanksgiving never seemed right if you couldn't be with extended family or invite church family over. Knowing 1500 miles away my mother was finally saying yes to the inevitable when she took Daddy to the nursing home, I was convinced of the not quite rightness of this holiday.

I'm not sure who came up with this idea. In the past I would rather sleep through Thanksgiving than go to an impersonal restaurant and take a chance on a traditional meal prepared by untraditional hands. I wish I could tell you the details of the meal we had. I do remember it was a nice restaurant located within a state park on the way to Omaha. The view from our table was lovely. I remember no details but I do remember the closeness of our family and the the sense of rightness as the six of us ate together. Traditional- no but still great cause for thanksgiving as we relished the peace of our family unit. The car still had to be fixed and there was no way of fixing my father and yet the blessings of God were clear.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Before Your Eyes and in Front of Your Nose

Recently I read a blog by a man named Jason Helopoulos. He said that many times after church we find ourselves talking to someone who was not on our list. Instead of devoting ourselves to the person in front of us we're looking elsewhere while we are bemoaning missed ministry opportunities on the other side of the room or at the other end of a ringing phone. We often fail to realize that the one in front of our eyes is our ministry opportunity. His blog jogged my memory. One year when we lived in Vermont I did a paper on understanding how God wants us to minister within the church. I called what God would have us do an ifoyn (in front of your nose) ministry. I remembered my friend Mom Walker. She had a son who was college age and he would often invite other students home with him. This ministry came to her. She did not have to agonize about what should she find to do. On Sunday morning as she would greet visitors, she would listen for information that would link this person to so...
Read more

Anticipating a New Arrival, Remembering Old Lessons

I've been a grandmother for a little over 5 years and in April we will be welcoming our fifth grandchild. I wish I had paid a lot more attention to the details of being a mother of small children while I was going through it. I started journals for each of my 4 but I wrote very little. I guess I was too busy living it to write that much. It seems like all  I can remember are inconsequential things like "Very few of your toys made any noise." or embarrassing things like "When you were nursing, you used to always----"  Then I am reminded that because of God's grace there are lessons I remember. Often when a young woman gets married she is told by someone in her world, “ This wedding is all about you.” To be in control , to be able to make as many of her desires happen as possible,  wouldn’t every bride want this? Usually the new couple doesn’t get past the honeymoon before the bride has to drop the “it’s all about me” attitude. If the couple wants the marri...
Read more

A Tale of Two Chairs and a Rug

My mother became a resident of heaven two years ago on March 14. Slowly, initially one by one, pieces of furniture left the family home. I took home a small desk which had been given as a wedding present in the last of the 19th century. Later my brother loaded a piece that had belonged to my grandmother. It was called a pie safe made from a golden colored wood. The front was covered with tin panels punched with a design. The original use was to keep pies safe as they cooled and to keep them protected from impatient family members. For many years I remembered it as the place to find card games. As time went on furniture began to leave at at a more rapid rate. One of the pieces was a recliner that I had asked for. It was a smaller recliner than ours with a greater firmness.  Mom had this recliner for years. For about 2 years of her life she would take naps daily. She would call those naps " toes up", a term used by one of her favorite novelists. Since I have fallen in love wi...
Read more