10 Year Anniversary
How do you celebrate an anniversary such as this? Ten years ago I had my second case of breast cancer. My doctor when he called told me I had a zero chance of it spreading. That was my good news. He then said a mastectomy was necessary since this was the second time in the same breast. In light of the good news this didn't seem so bad after all. A zero chance of spreading sounded louder in my head than the mastectomy and that floored my friends. Although I accepted well and with only a moderate amount of fear the procedure I needed to go through, my acceptance did not make it easier. I was also having breast reconstruction at the same time.
After a few days in the hospital I was home. I assumed someday I would have enough energy for what my life required of me but for a while I was going to enjoy the attentiveness of my family and the generosity of the cooks of the church. I sat in a new recliner one day during my recuperation as I watched my husband and son do yard work. I opened my notebook and recorded my thoughts.
As I wrote about what I had been through with this cancer experience, I realized that there were three lessons that I believed God was teaching me. I craved normal life. I didn't want to hear the word cancer. I didn't want it to be part of my vocabulary. I didn't want to be defined by having had cancer. If I could just go back to my normal life , everything would be all right.At some point God's truth became clear to me. --Normal life is not a sufficient object for our hope. Our hope must be in our all sufficient savior .
In these past ten years I have realized that this is not just a lesson for cancer recovery. It's one that applies to a great variety of experiences. There is a time consuming conflict in the church. I want normal life and what I need is to cling to Christ as my only hope. My husband's schedule is overloaded and there doesn't appear to be any end in sight. Normal life with regular meals is deeply desired but my greater desire should be treasuring my time in the Word and prayer. No matter what the difficult circumstance, all my yearning should be directed towards God and his word and not towards normal life.
I have lived a good part of my life pretending to be in control. Knowing that cancer had returned once again stripped away any pretense. I was powerfully reminded that I was vulnerable before God. As I waited once again for the surgeons and their teams to do their work, I realized I was laid out before people who I barely knew or didn't know at all. God's omnipotent love and care was the only thing worthy of my complete trust.
After ten years an understanding of God's love, his goodness, and his sovereignty is still a lesson I had better not forget for very long. In an uncertain economy how do we know that we can make ends meet? What about relatives and friends who turn a deaf ear to the gospel? How do we deal with uncertainties about our health or the health of family members? What should be our response when every political decision seems to be leading our country towards possible destruction? Trusting in God's eternal good purposes is our only sensible option as we remember our powerlessness and God's great power.
After my first bout with cancer I sought some kind of understanding about why God would allow me to go through such an experience. One of the places I looked was a book by the Puritan, Thomas Watson. In his book The Body of Divinity he makes the statement that God in his grace puts our good and his glory in the same direction. Whenever he is glorified, we can trust that our good will also follow. Since no situation is outside of God's control and since he keeps every promise he has made to his people, even something as awful as cancer can become a good gift.
Ten years have gone by and as I look at my life and the lives of others there seems to be no end to the difficult and heartbreaking situations that we have encountered or will encounter. Trusting in our loving God, the great promise keeper who guards his glory and our good is our only hope for being at peace in this sinful world. God can make the loss of a job, a health crisis of any kind, a misunderstanding with a friend, or a sudden move into a good gift. In his hands all things can become good things. If I look only at the circumstances then I become stuck in a pit of anger and self pity. It's only when I look at God, his promises, and his character then I realize what a glorious work he's doing all the time. If it wasn't for the cancer times, how could I even begin to understand these great truths during the ordinary times?
After a few days in the hospital I was home. I assumed someday I would have enough energy for what my life required of me but for a while I was going to enjoy the attentiveness of my family and the generosity of the cooks of the church. I sat in a new recliner one day during my recuperation as I watched my husband and son do yard work. I opened my notebook and recorded my thoughts.
As I wrote about what I had been through with this cancer experience, I realized that there were three lessons that I believed God was teaching me. I craved normal life. I didn't want to hear the word cancer. I didn't want it to be part of my vocabulary. I didn't want to be defined by having had cancer. If I could just go back to my normal life , everything would be all right.At some point God's truth became clear to me. --Normal life is not a sufficient object for our hope. Our hope must be in our all sufficient savior .
In these past ten years I have realized that this is not just a lesson for cancer recovery. It's one that applies to a great variety of experiences. There is a time consuming conflict in the church. I want normal life and what I need is to cling to Christ as my only hope. My husband's schedule is overloaded and there doesn't appear to be any end in sight. Normal life with regular meals is deeply desired but my greater desire should be treasuring my time in the Word and prayer. No matter what the difficult circumstance, all my yearning should be directed towards God and his word and not towards normal life.
I have lived a good part of my life pretending to be in control. Knowing that cancer had returned once again stripped away any pretense. I was powerfully reminded that I was vulnerable before God. As I waited once again for the surgeons and their teams to do their work, I realized I was laid out before people who I barely knew or didn't know at all. God's omnipotent love and care was the only thing worthy of my complete trust.
After ten years an understanding of God's love, his goodness, and his sovereignty is still a lesson I had better not forget for very long. In an uncertain economy how do we know that we can make ends meet? What about relatives and friends who turn a deaf ear to the gospel? How do we deal with uncertainties about our health or the health of family members? What should be our response when every political decision seems to be leading our country towards possible destruction? Trusting in God's eternal good purposes is our only sensible option as we remember our powerlessness and God's great power.
After my first bout with cancer I sought some kind of understanding about why God would allow me to go through such an experience. One of the places I looked was a book by the Puritan, Thomas Watson. In his book The Body of Divinity he makes the statement that God in his grace puts our good and his glory in the same direction. Whenever he is glorified, we can trust that our good will also follow. Since no situation is outside of God's control and since he keeps every promise he has made to his people, even something as awful as cancer can become a good gift.
Ten years have gone by and as I look at my life and the lives of others there seems to be no end to the difficult and heartbreaking situations that we have encountered or will encounter. Trusting in our loving God, the great promise keeper who guards his glory and our good is our only hope for being at peace in this sinful world. God can make the loss of a job, a health crisis of any kind, a misunderstanding with a friend, or a sudden move into a good gift. In his hands all things can become good things. If I look only at the circumstances then I become stuck in a pit of anger and self pity. It's only when I look at God, his promises, and his character then I realize what a glorious work he's doing all the time. If it wasn't for the cancer times, how could I even begin to understand these great truths during the ordinary times?
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