Who Are You?

Recently I was asked to give the devotional for a wedding shower. After 39 years of marriage I find the best advice I can give are the simple reminders of simple and yet glorious truths. I hope this rings true for you no matter where you are in life.


Who are you? That’s a question people have asked often. How many people in the past have left home and current relationships in order to “find themselves”? The whole concept might make you laugh because you know who you are. You can look at your driver’s license if you’re a very forgetful person. Perhaps what defines you more than a quick snapshot at the DMV is the relationships you have with the people that are closest to you. Your parents and then your siblings are the people God first uses to bring out all those good and bad characteristics within you; some of these may still be apparent in your life. Then you who have been primarily just daughter and sister go off to school. You make friends and you relate to adults in authority, teachers, pastors, and then bosses. Who are you? You know you are daughter, sister, student, friend, and employee.

Now you have what will be the most precious human relationship of your life. You have progressed from being acquaintances to good friends to being boyfriend and girl friend, and then came that amazing day when he could call you “my fiancé”. Soon he will be able to say “I’d like you to meet my wife.” No matter how precious other earthly relationships are none of them should come close to what you will have with this special one.

Hopefully both of you will soon realize that as important as the marriage relationship is and as long lasting as it should be, it is temporary. “Till death do us part” may sound like a long time especially to those under thirty, but there is only one relationship that lasts forever. In Ephesians1:4 we read that God “chose us in him before the foundation of the world, that we should be holy and blameless before him.” Long before you started agonizing about the multitude of decisions you need to make in life, God had already decided the most important things. According to Ephesians2:10 we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them.

This one and only forever relationship is at the center of our lives. All other relationships will only be a pale shadow of what they were made to be if they are not centered in our understanding of who we are in Christ. Your value should never be determined by how many children you bear, how immaculate your home is, how wonderful is your meatloaf, or what size clothing you wear. You are valuable because God has chosen to set his love on you not because of anything you have done but just because he has chosen you. Understanding this truth keeps pride at bay. You also then realize that since his love and wisdom are greater than yours and because he is always in control you can worry less or not at all. You also will be less likely to do battle with each other because it’s not your agenda you want accomplished but you want God’s kingdom furthered. As the two of you seek to glorify God together you can trust that that glorifying God will lead to good for both of you.

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