Questions for the P.W.
Our church's search committee is deep into their work of finding the man they want to be their next pastor. As much as they appreciate my husband's ministry, I'm sure they know they don't need a clone of him. Discovering what they do need for the next phase in the life of the church must be a difficult task.
I would if they ask urge them not to forget the man's wife. Unlike a plumber or men in a multitude of other professions, a minister's job is very much affected by his wife. If given a chance I might ask a candidate's wife questions like these.
1) How did you respond when you first found out that your husband was going to be a pastor? What were your expectations of that lifestyle?
2) How did you adjust to the thought of being a P.W.?
3) Do you and your husband pray regularly together?
4) Does your husband make spending time with you a priority?
5) Do you pray faithfully for your husband?
6) How do you help your children deal with the demands that a pastor's life often puts on the family?
7) Has your husband experienced significant adversity in a previous church? What did you learn from that experience that would lead you to handle future situations more wisely?
8) Share something about your relationship with the session in a previous church.
9) Although a pastor's wife is not a station with a salary or authority, it is a unique position within the church. How would you describe your role?
10) Do you think if you were not the pastor's wife you would be serving a lot differently and if so what would that look like?
11) How important have friendships within the church been to you? Have you needed to use extra caution in those friendships?
12) Do you feel the need to safeguard against a sense of isolation? If so how have you gone about this?
I hope that anyone who reads this will be just a little more sensitive to what being a pastor's wife is all about. She should be far more than his quiet shadow but she should never feel compelled to have her fingers in every aspect of ministry. She should feel free to use the gifts God has given her so she can be one of her husband's best assets as she serves in the kingdom of God. Each pastor's wife needs to prayerfully with her husband's counsel and encouragement decide what that should look like for her.
I would if they ask urge them not to forget the man's wife. Unlike a plumber or men in a multitude of other professions, a minister's job is very much affected by his wife. If given a chance I might ask a candidate's wife questions like these.
1) How did you respond when you first found out that your husband was going to be a pastor? What were your expectations of that lifestyle?
2) How did you adjust to the thought of being a P.W.?
3) Do you and your husband pray regularly together?
4) Does your husband make spending time with you a priority?
5) Do you pray faithfully for your husband?
6) How do you help your children deal with the demands that a pastor's life often puts on the family?
7) Has your husband experienced significant adversity in a previous church? What did you learn from that experience that would lead you to handle future situations more wisely?
8) Share something about your relationship with the session in a previous church.
9) Although a pastor's wife is not a station with a salary or authority, it is a unique position within the church. How would you describe your role?
10) Do you think if you were not the pastor's wife you would be serving a lot differently and if so what would that look like?
11) How important have friendships within the church been to you? Have you needed to use extra caution in those friendships?
12) Do you feel the need to safeguard against a sense of isolation? If so how have you gone about this?
I hope that anyone who reads this will be just a little more sensitive to what being a pastor's wife is all about. She should be far more than his quiet shadow but she should never feel compelled to have her fingers in every aspect of ministry. She should feel free to use the gifts God has given her so she can be one of her husband's best assets as she serves in the kingdom of God. Each pastor's wife needs to prayerfully with her husband's counsel and encouragement decide what that should look like for her.
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