A Last Thank You
My husband recently shared with me an idea. My brother Phil had been battling pancreatic cancer for over a year and there were sure signs that the end was coming soon. Steve thought I might want to call and talk to him. I was certain that if I did I would emotionally be a mess. In spite of my decision Steve called Phil and shared why he was thankful for him. He did not expect any response from Phil. Later we heard how he responded with facial expressions.
I would like to share the four reasons why my husband of almost 45 years said he was thankful for my brother,
1) Our eldest son Chris sees fishing as a central part of his life and my brother Phil is the one who encouraged him and shared his love of fishing. It is difficult to remember how young Chris was when Phil began to model his great enjoyment of fishing. Chris saw from the start that his Uncle insisted on obeying the regulations about the size of a keeper. Both had patience as they waited to catch the right size fish.
Phil continued the line of uncle to nephew love of fishing started by my mother's brother. Even though he had newer and better fishing poles he still kept the one given to him by Uncle Happy.
2) Steve thanked him for being a good big brother to me. I could share a number of memories about us but I will stick with just one. While he was dealing with all the symptoms of his disease he called me twice after my knee replacement surgery to check on me and encourage me to keep up with my physical therapy. He made very little mention of his situation.
If I had called Phil I would have shared memories of the sixth grade patrol who didn't send me to the office when I was in a fight with a classmate, the teenager who took me places on the back of his motor scooter, the airman dressed in his uniform who surprised me at my college when I came out of class, the senior citizen who called me after surgery to see how I was doing and encourage me to exercise. His concern for me marked my life.
3) Phil many times over the years made the trip from Georgia to Maryland to see Mom. Sometimes he had a specific reason and other times it was just to be with her. He would usually do one or more things on her honey do list. Often he would tease her and Mom would tease him back. Phil was also the one to make arrangements for flowers to be given to the church in honor of our parents' anniversary.
4) Steve expressed thanksgiving for Phil's personal touch as he knew so many people in whatever shops he frequented. Phil remembered names and often facts about people, and Steve saw in that Phil's focused effort to pay attention to others.
When we stayed with Phil on a trip to Georgia, it was unusual to go anywhere with him without finding people he already knew. If he didn't know them he would purpose to connect. The tendency we all have is to exaggerate the good points of someone who has died. As we think about Phil's love and concern he had for others and the tangible ways he expressed his concern, there is no need to add to the story.
Yes, I was not part of this call and yet Steve spoke many of the things that I would have said. Phil died just shy of his seventy second birthday. Many people were blessed to know him. I was blessed to know him at every stage in life.
As we lose a loved one this should be a reminder that God often uses family members and friends to bless us and shape us in special ways. We should use whatever opportunities he gives us to express that gratitude .
I would like to share the four reasons why my husband of almost 45 years said he was thankful for my brother,
1) Our eldest son Chris sees fishing as a central part of his life and my brother Phil is the one who encouraged him and shared his love of fishing. It is difficult to remember how young Chris was when Phil began to model his great enjoyment of fishing. Chris saw from the start that his Uncle insisted on obeying the regulations about the size of a keeper. Both had patience as they waited to catch the right size fish.
Phil continued the line of uncle to nephew love of fishing started by my mother's brother. Even though he had newer and better fishing poles he still kept the one given to him by Uncle Happy.
2) Steve thanked him for being a good big brother to me. I could share a number of memories about us but I will stick with just one. While he was dealing with all the symptoms of his disease he called me twice after my knee replacement surgery to check on me and encourage me to keep up with my physical therapy. He made very little mention of his situation.
If I had called Phil I would have shared memories of the sixth grade patrol who didn't send me to the office when I was in a fight with a classmate, the teenager who took me places on the back of his motor scooter, the airman dressed in his uniform who surprised me at my college when I came out of class, the senior citizen who called me after surgery to see how I was doing and encourage me to exercise. His concern for me marked my life.
3) Phil many times over the years made the trip from Georgia to Maryland to see Mom. Sometimes he had a specific reason and other times it was just to be with her. He would usually do one or more things on her honey do list. Often he would tease her and Mom would tease him back. Phil was also the one to make arrangements for flowers to be given to the church in honor of our parents' anniversary.
4) Steve expressed thanksgiving for Phil's personal touch as he knew so many people in whatever shops he frequented. Phil remembered names and often facts about people, and Steve saw in that Phil's focused effort to pay attention to others.
When we stayed with Phil on a trip to Georgia, it was unusual to go anywhere with him without finding people he already knew. If he didn't know them he would purpose to connect. The tendency we all have is to exaggerate the good points of someone who has died. As we think about Phil's love and concern he had for others and the tangible ways he expressed his concern, there is no need to add to the story.
Yes, I was not part of this call and yet Steve spoke many of the things that I would have said. Phil died just shy of his seventy second birthday. Many people were blessed to know him. I was blessed to know him at every stage in life.
As we lose a loved one this should be a reminder that God often uses family members and friends to bless us and shape us in special ways. We should use whatever opportunities he gives us to express that gratitude .
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