Hope in God for Parents and Child
Years ago I was asked to work with some other women on a workshop about offspring that reject the faith of their parents. Recently I came across a list of advice that I had written for parents of grown .children. This was the basis for what I have written here.
All of us have had the experience of feeling the disapproving glares of others as your darling child or children ignore the attempts of mom or dad to tame their disobedient behavior. As they grow into maturity the scenario changes but your reaction remains similar. "It is my fault. If only I had prayed more or read the right books ----"
You look forward to the day when if they are acting in ways that don't reflect your values they are doing it under their roof and not yours. If God has not seemed to answer your prayers distance makes the situation more bearable.
Additional years do not make dealing with grown children any easier. Your level of concern may be higher now that they are older. Strong admonitions, lectures and grounding are not apropriate ways to deal with these adults. Neither is corporal punishment or withholding their allowance. No matter how much you prayed for your young children it quickly becomes clear that prayer is even more important for these adults.
If you haven't accepted this truth before you need to understand this now, You have never been a perfect parent. This truth does not mean that you are totally responsible for the life your adult child has chosen. The future of each child is determined by the graciousness of God and how they choose to respond. Usually the parents' failures are a small part of the big picture. You are not responsible for all your child's sinful choices.
Sinful choices in the life of your child often produce dire consequences. It's natural for parents to try to step in and make everything right. Often these situations become the background for God's amazing work . You staying out of it may lead to a moment of growth for everyone. Please seek to handle each set of circumstances appropriately with each child. Remember do not so deal with your son or daughter in a way that alters the opportunities where God might work.
Even though you know you have failed as a parent anything you have done can not negate the work of God in your child or the work of God in you. You are one of many means that God may use and is using in the life of your child. One of the most important things to remember is you can not save your child. This is a work of God alone.
All of us have had the experience of feeling the disapproving glares of others as your darling child or children ignore the attempts of mom or dad to tame their disobedient behavior. As they grow into maturity the scenario changes but your reaction remains similar. "It is my fault. If only I had prayed more or read the right books ----"
You look forward to the day when if they are acting in ways that don't reflect your values they are doing it under their roof and not yours. If God has not seemed to answer your prayers distance makes the situation more bearable.
Additional years do not make dealing with grown children any easier. Your level of concern may be higher now that they are older. Strong admonitions, lectures and grounding are not apropriate ways to deal with these adults. Neither is corporal punishment or withholding their allowance. No matter how much you prayed for your young children it quickly becomes clear that prayer is even more important for these adults.
If you haven't accepted this truth before you need to understand this now, You have never been a perfect parent. This truth does not mean that you are totally responsible for the life your adult child has chosen. The future of each child is determined by the graciousness of God and how they choose to respond. Usually the parents' failures are a small part of the big picture. You are not responsible for all your child's sinful choices.
Sinful choices in the life of your child often produce dire consequences. It's natural for parents to try to step in and make everything right. Often these situations become the background for God's amazing work . You staying out of it may lead to a moment of growth for everyone. Please seek to handle each set of circumstances appropriately with each child. Remember do not so deal with your son or daughter in a way that alters the opportunities where God might work.
Even though you know you have failed as a parent anything you have done can not negate the work of God in your child or the work of God in you. You are one of many means that God may use and is using in the life of your child. One of the most important things to remember is you can not save your child. This is a work of God alone.
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