God's Everyday Wonders
I had surgery last Wednesday. Hopefully this will be the end of an emotional and medical roller coaster ride that has lasted more than a year. I had surgery a year ago and two more surgeries that were brought on by the first. What the first surgery sought to remove was never found. Two different doctors called what was supposed to be there by two different names and a third doctor said that the two terms refer to two different things. Another doctor said according to all the pathology reports there was nothing to worry about. This is a short explanation of the fact that possibly I shouldn't have had any surgery. Where did someone go wrong? Where did I go wrong? Why didn't God change things just a little here or there so I wouldn't have had to endure all the trauma of three surgeries in one year? Do I need to get my questions answered? Who would answer them? My mind for the past few weeks has dwelt on these questions which have led in the direction of anger at God. Other times I have dwelt on the character of God alone.
Finally the date for my third surgery was set. The focus of my thoughts now had to change. I needed all my coping skills I had gleaned from other forays into the medical world as well as my basic understanding of the character of my loving, sovereign heavenly father to get through this hospital experience. Discovering the answers to the mysteries of this past year and a half would have to wait.
Compared to the year before things went smoothly. The reason for the surgery was clear and inescapable. The surgeon explained things well and he was highly recommended and my needed surgery was his specialty. The hospital had just opened and the nurses seemed a good mix of personable and efficient. Instead of staying all three nights that I had expected, I only had to stay one.
I came home Thursday afternoon. I was glued to my recliner, even sleeping there the first few nights. The pain and exhaustion that I was experiencing could not be compared to what it was like after the two back to back surgeries a year earlier.
On Saturday evening three out of my four children and their families were at our home.My daughter and husband prepared all the food. My post surgery lethargy gave me the opportunity to be more of an an observer than a participant. I watched as all of them relaxed in each other's company. Each aunt and uncle enjoyed each nephew and niece. I watched as they laughed and enjoyed the antics of the the two older grands as they played with each other. Poppop relished in holding his youngest grandson.
In spite of any ongoing discomfort and exhaustion the rightness of the moment could not be diminished. Yes I would still be wondering at the way "God moves in mysterious ways". All the whys of the past year and a half still remained unanswered but I was privileged to witness the last half of the line from Cowper's hymn. "God moves in mysterious ways his wonders to perform" My life is filled with what often times may be seemingly ordinary wonders of God but still wonders none the less. What a privilege to be the ground on which God works. Too often instead of being thankful for all the blessings in life, I allow myself to sink into the mire of questions about what seems less than what I feel "entitled" to as God's child. I forget that God has already lifted me out of the true mire of my sin, and that just being able to call myself his child is far more amazing than any life questions could be perplexing.
Finally the date for my third surgery was set. The focus of my thoughts now had to change. I needed all my coping skills I had gleaned from other forays into the medical world as well as my basic understanding of the character of my loving, sovereign heavenly father to get through this hospital experience. Discovering the answers to the mysteries of this past year and a half would have to wait.
Compared to the year before things went smoothly. The reason for the surgery was clear and inescapable. The surgeon explained things well and he was highly recommended and my needed surgery was his specialty. The hospital had just opened and the nurses seemed a good mix of personable and efficient. Instead of staying all three nights that I had expected, I only had to stay one.
I came home Thursday afternoon. I was glued to my recliner, even sleeping there the first few nights. The pain and exhaustion that I was experiencing could not be compared to what it was like after the two back to back surgeries a year earlier.
On Saturday evening three out of my four children and their families were at our home.My daughter and husband prepared all the food. My post surgery lethargy gave me the opportunity to be more of an an observer than a participant. I watched as all of them relaxed in each other's company. Each aunt and uncle enjoyed each nephew and niece. I watched as they laughed and enjoyed the antics of the the two older grands as they played with each other. Poppop relished in holding his youngest grandson.
In spite of any ongoing discomfort and exhaustion the rightness of the moment could not be diminished. Yes I would still be wondering at the way "God moves in mysterious ways". All the whys of the past year and a half still remained unanswered but I was privileged to witness the last half of the line from Cowper's hymn. "God moves in mysterious ways his wonders to perform" My life is filled with what often times may be seemingly ordinary wonders of God but still wonders none the less. What a privilege to be the ground on which God works. Too often instead of being thankful for all the blessings in life, I allow myself to sink into the mire of questions about what seems less than what I feel "entitled" to as God's child. I forget that God has already lifted me out of the true mire of my sin, and that just being able to call myself his child is far more amazing than any life questions could be perplexing.
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